Sunday, February 6, 2011

Dear Retarded Fuck

I don't fucking know you. You have called my phone five times. Each fucking time I have answered in English. I have hung up on you each time. One time I tried telling you in Korean that you made a mistaken phone call. You called me once from a Gyeongi Do phone code, then you tried your cell phone. Both times I picked up the phone, said "hello," and got a moronic dumb ass speaking Korean. While speaking to you in English, you still didn't get the point that you were talking to a stranger and that you couldn't understand me. I find it entertaining that there could be such a stupid person in the world. I will continue to take your calls until you realize that the person that you want to call probably has a different phone number. Each time you call, in the future, I will speak my mother tongue in the hopes that by some divine inspiration you will get the idea that you have somehow made a mistake, or that the person who gave you my phone number probably doesn't every want to speak to you....and I can't blame them. If I spoke Korean better and decided to pursue a friendship with you, I'm confident that I would be in better conversational company with a box of cheezits. With that, I wish you good luck in the future, because I know that it is a miracle that you have managed to survive all of these years without drowning in the shower. Good day.


Flint said...

Heh ... I had a few of those type of mooks call over the years.

Caller ID is a beautiful thing. I would call the more annoying ones back at different hours of the day and night as many times as they called me just to fuck with them. That turned out to be an effective way to stop most of them.

Kimchi Dreadlocks said...

This post made my day. I get a lot of the Korean phantom calls as well. I once called back and recited a verse from Snoop Dog's "What's my name?" The caller hung up about half way through and I never heard from him again. I thought everyone loved Snoop.

3gyupsal said...

Well this guy hasn't called since then either. Maybe he got the picture. A couple of years ago I changed my phone number. It must have been the same number as some other guy because I get text messages for him all the time. I get a text message for him every day reminding him to pay his phone bill. I used to get tons of calls for him when I first got the phone so I blocked the numbers. Unfortunately my phone can only block ten numbers so I unblocked those numbers and I started to get more calls.

I think that it's strange how many numbers have been blocked for for two years, suddenly they become unblocked and then people continue to call expecting to talk to that person.