Sunday, March 27, 2011

What is the Dumber Song?

I guess my problem with this piece of shit is that it is so addictive. It lodges its self in your fucking head an just stays there. And then you find yourself just saying "Su papa dup dapa dup dap duppa."

I really want to strangle "Doll Sherbet's" record producer. First because of the name "Doll Sherbet," secondly because I'm pretty sure that feeling the life force of a Korean record producer slipping through my hands will somehow give me super powers.

I imagine the conversation between the girls in "Doll Sherbet," and their record producer to go something like this.

P.D. I see that you little girls can sing.

D.S. Yes can you make us stars?

P.D. Are you ready to prance around and act like sexy little retards?

D.S. Maybe.

P.D. I've got a little thing for the short bus if you know what I mean.

D.S. We just want to be famous.

P.D. Well then, welcome to Doll Sherbet.

And then there is this. Youtube's song with fifty seven thousand dislikes.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Thanks Conan

Well the last post was about Rebecca Black and the "Ark Music Factory." I like how Conan O'brien addressed the issue.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Just Wow

For all of the shit that people give to Kpop artists, this is just evil and sad:

I'm sorry to Brian in Jeollanamdo, but "We we we so excited" from Miss Black's song blows Rainbow's I wanna gossip girl, out of the water any day. For one, I'm guessing that Rebbecca Black is a native speaker of English. Two, I'm guessing that her producers are also. Three, why the hell is there a middle aged guy in a sports car driving around and rapping about following school buses? Tell em Antoine:

That's right hide your kids hide your wife.

This poor girl Rebecca Black is the product of some likely pedophile record producers over at something called "The Ark Music Factory." This "Ark Music Factory," had their release party a few weeks ago. This is the video:

Five seconds into the video, what do you see? A middle aged man. What the hell is he doing there? Is he one of these kids dads? Eighteen seconds in we are hit with the rhetorical "Are you guys ready to see some music entertainment?" Where they hell did they get this hype man? Was he fired from his last job as a youth pastor? Also the interviewer asks "How ready and how excited are you tonight," to everybody. I feel like this is an ESL class.

2:12, did that fourteen year old girl just say "I want you to sleep with me?" I can't tell. It also kind of sounds like she says "I want you to seek with me," which maybe is a little more appropriate. Maybe she and her friends are playing hide and seek and she wants to "seek" with a cute boy or something. The whole thing is just unsavory.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

My Top Ten Tips for Dealing with the Excruciatingly Temperate Weather of the Spring

Have you ever gone outside in the early spring and have just felt incredibly optimistic, because of the mild weather? I know that these good feelings of hope and joy can be a bit much to take as the magnolia blossoms give way to the cherry blossoms and the earth comes alive once again for spring, so I would like to present some suggestions for coping with temperate weather.

1. Pay taxes. There is no better way to bring down your spring spirits than to realize how little money you actually make. Also a good way to kick you while your down is to have a balance due on your taxes. So go outside, breathe that fresh air, and think "awe fuck I can't eat this month because I have to pay taxes.

2. Weigh yourself and find out that you are few kilograms heavier.

3. Climb a mountain when you are out of shape. You will feel good and tired later, but while you are climbing the mountain you might feel like shit.

4. Participate in Lent - even if you aren't Catholic. Give something up for no reason that might help Spring to feel a little less great.

5. Watch the news. There has been a lot of shitty stuff going on lately.

6. Read some Mayan prophecies. We only have one year left according to them.

7. Blog while trying to watch a movie. I put 10 things in the title of this stupid post and I have three more stupid things to write.

8. Give something up for Lent and then totally flake out on it. I gave up alcohol last Wednesday and had a beer on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

9. Sunday night baby. Gotta go to work tomorrow.

10. Yes! number ten. No I shouldn't feel good about that. It's warm outside maybe I'll turn on the floor heater.