Thursday, July 19, 2012

The Other Jinju Bloggers Need to Step it up a Bit

Fun Times in South East Korea is the largest and least important blog about Jinju. That is why it is so important for the other Jinju bloggers to step it up. I have found two other blogs about Jinju. One is by my friend, called Indie Jinju. He hasn't posted anything in about a month. The other is a new one called Yo Jinju. Yo Jinju looks like it aspires to have important information on it. Meanwhile, if you read five posts on this blog your I.Q. will drop five points. If you fix yourself a nice drink, and read the whole damn thing, you will need to be committed. The alternative would be to get your Jinju information from a foreigner church website. I've been in many conversations with Korean Christians who try to get me to go to their church. They mentinon that there are other foreigners there. Saying that there are other foreigners in a church means that I actually have to understand what all of the god stuff. That is why I still have a small affinity for the Catholic church. Sure the leaders might be rape apologists, but Catholics never bother you to join up. In fact I briefly wanted to go to a Catholic church in Korea when one of my students, an elegant elderly woman, mentioned that the church bazaars at her church frequently sell wine. I suppose I could transform this piece of garbage into something useful, but that would take some commitment that I don't have.

New Rules

New Rule: If you have the courage to leave your house in a pink dress shirt and lime green pants, don't get all shy in English class.

New Rule: Let's have some more appropriate amounts of French fries. Fries and beer are great. I just want to stop hating myself. New Rule: Korea bloggers need to find something new to write about. Here is a basic summary of what the past few years have been like. Contracts don't mean anything. I'm lonely. Here are some pictures of a temple. Racism. I ate some weird food. I saw something about foreigners on T.V. that I didn't like. My Korean boyfriend. My Korean girlfriend. My students are so........ I don't like this blogger. I'm the most serious Korea blogger, others are losers. Human rights.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

New rules

New rules: Jason Mraz and Maroon Five suck. Lana Del Rey is awesome.

New Rules!

New rule: If you are going to walk on an escalator, walk the right direction. I'm not necessarily angry at Koreans for breaking this rule, just the two geniuses who did so today. This morning I was at Homeplus pushing my son around. I was Half way up the escalator when this idiot woman decided she needed something else, so she started running down the escalator. This prompted me to issue an audible "Aw for fuck's sake." this story wouldn't have been remarkable had it not been for the fact that the very same thing happened about five hours later in a department store. This time my wife was with me and I was holding my son when this strapping young idiot twenty something decided to start running up this crowed escalator. Again I issued a very audible "aw for fucks sakes" but this time the guy tripped and fell on his face. He writhed around on the floor for a minute then found his balance and apologized as he exited. Later I realized that this created a problem for me since my son is trying to learn how to talk. I need to learn more patience in public. I tend to swear at people here more than I would back home. I know that a lot of Koreans know English swear words, but people aren't accustomed to getting sworn at for minor infractions of impoliteness or obliviousness, so they usually just pretend not to notice. But anyway I need to stop when I'm with my son.

New rule: Watch where you are going. I hate smartphones. People should get tickets for walking and texting. I think I may accidentally kill a Korean person sometime. I'm a J walker. Many times J walking is safer than waiting for the signal since occasionally people people don't stop at red lights. I'm also suspicious of the occasional flash of psychopathic racism that might send me to the hospital sometime while crossing in front of a car. Anyway when I J walk, I'm usually pretty good at watching the traffic. Meanwhile someone who is smart phoning away might end up getting hit by a car when their peripheral vision catches my movement and they assume that the signal has changed.

New rule: I've got headphones on I don't want to talk to you.

New rule: I appreciate your adulation of my son, but when you follow me and say that he is pretty in Korean, and cute in English, I'm going to run away from you.

New rule: Pay me when you say you will, I'm talking to you dong joong. Did an after school class for my old middle school. The class started in March and I didn't see any money until July. Even then it was after I faxed them a bill. 청구서, very nice word to know.

New rule: Stop saying bye bye. When people see my son with me they blurt out their best English at him. The kid's mom is Korean, and he was born here. One time in Dunkin donuts I ran into a friend from work. He was playing with my son when a gang of what looked like college Christians stormed the place. (There's a look to them, believe me, and they can usually speak English pretty well.) Anyway this one turd muffin who looked a bit like Sasquatch really thought it was important for a one year old baby to know that his name (Sasquatch) was handsome man. Wtf? Bye bye.

Thursday, July 12, 2012


Haven't posted in a while. Sorry. I enjoyed my first garden tomato of the year. It was sweet and helped to complete an awesome tuna melt. Haven't had much to say,I've been busy. Also my computer is broke and it is a bitch to write blog posts on an iPad. I had some rage towards my former employer, but I got paid in the end. Word of the day: 청구서. It is a kind of bill. I faxed one to my old middle school after completing an after school program. They took about a month to pay me, but I sent them a bill and got my money the next day. I've been in Korea for about six or seven years now. It isn't interesting to bitch about the place anymore. Don't climb mountains in the summer. It is hot, and caterpillar fur itches like a bitch. About two weeks ago I went on another failed mountain adventure, by myself, and was itchy for a week. I thought it was poison ivy, but it wasn't. I found a cave though. This was on 방어산. This mountain is between Haman and jinju. It is pretty big and pretty remote. It tops off at an elevation of 500 something meters. I didn't make it to the top because I lost the trail shortly after I found the cave. I head never seen a cave before. They aren't common in Michigan. But I was like, shit, there's a cave. It was too dark to go inside and I didn't want a cave in, or find Sasquatch or a dead body so I just left. But shit, I saw a cave.