Sunday, July 12, 2009
Plan to rip out Nick Kune's Femurs
I may have mentioned this before but, I will be getting married in October. My fiance, has a schoolgirl crush on K-pop boy band 2 p.m. member Nick Koon, (I don't know how to spell it.) Anyway 2 p.m. will be coming to Jinju this Thursday. I think being jealous in this situation is healthy as a sign of my love, so I think a plan to rip out this guys femurs is well warrented. I'm only going to stick to this plan if he A: Shows interest in my love. B: Is rude to her in anyway, or C: comes within 20 feet with lust in his eyes. So here is my plan.
First step: buy some chickens.
I'm still failing the "Idiet," so I need some chickens to make chicken broth. Korea doesn't sell canned chicken broth so whenever I make one of those "Idiet," soups it is always an ordeal because if I want chicken broth, I have to boil a chicken or two for a few hours and freeze the stock, and then add whatever beans or tomatoes to it later.
Step two: Practice pulling the thigh bones out of the chickens without removing the legs. I swear if Nick Kuhn tries anything with my woman, I'm going to make him an excellent dancer. Without thigh bones he'll have more gumby like motions on stage. I'll actually be doing him a favor.
Step three: I'll invite him to a public bath, give him a forget me now and gentily turn up the heat in the water. Usually in chickens the thigh bones come out pretty easily after a couple hours of boiling.
Step four: Buy some boshin tang dogs.
Step Five: Rabid fans of 2 P.M. would probably be sad that one of their members is femurless and want to extract their revenge on me. That is were the soup dogs come in. I'm sure that the dogs that Koreans make soup out of would like to extract some revenge on humans some how. Now I know that dogs like bones so if a murauding horde of middle school girls were to attack me. Then I could use the dogs as a canine sheild by throwing the popstar femurs into the attacking host. This would give me an ample opportunity to escape, and to apologize to such a promising young man like Nick Kuhn.