Sunday, February 12, 2012

Top 5 Korean T.V. Shows that Seem to Last Hours

Korean T.V. shows tend to start at odd times. My favorite show these days, "High Kick," goes from 7:45 to 8:10. The show is very entertaining but it is too short. Unfortunately there are a great many T.V. shows that make me want to run from the house screaming when there is nothing to do on the weekends.

1. Infinity Challenge


The show may have had its day a long time ago, but these days it seems like they are just killing time. How often can you watch guys driving somewhere? Or a bunch of guys running around Seoul doing some kind of scavenger hunt?

2. One Night and Two Days

See above, plus add guys playing rock paper scissors in the woods.

3. Challenges of Manhood

Okay this show had its moments. It was okay when they organized a choir....the first few episodes. It is kind of interesting that a new brand of Ramyeon came from this show. (꼬꼬면) But by and large this show is extraordinarily boring. It is so mind numbing that when the show comes on, it makes blogging look fun.

4. The Gag Concert

It's like Saturday night live with an entire cast of Cheri O'teri, and best of all, their microphones are taped to their faces!

5. Happy Together

What could be more fun than watching people wearing robes in a sauna locker room talking? Anything!!!!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Why Martial Arts Instructors Should Give Some Thought To Class Room Management

Well the good news is is that my Tae Kyon School seems to finally be taking off. I am no longer the only student. I got my black belt back in October or November, I don't know it was some month. Anyway I was in class today. 4 students me some middle aged man who I have never seen before. This kid who is like 6, and a college student. Mind you I am the highest ranking student in the school everyone else is pretty much a beginner.

So the master starts the class. We do a few warm up exercises, and then he tells the new old guy to go practice the few warm up exercises by himself for about 5 minutes. A few warm ups later he tells the 6 year old the same. 5 minutes later me and the university student end the warm up routine. I ask myself this, was it really necessary that he spend all that time with the two guys who already know what is going on?

Back in the day my taekwondo school was kind of like that. It still is, or was the last time I visited. Part of the problem was, was that classes were always taught without much distinction to ability. So someone who had studied for 5 years might be in the same class as the person who had studied for 2 weeks. So the instructor of the class has to try to appease everyone and give everyone a different assignment. Sometimes higher ranking students had to help lower ranking students. That's okay, but it kind of sucks when you pay someone money to learn something, and you spend the whole time teaching someone else. Luckily the Taekyon guy was finally able to give everyone personal attention, but I didn't think that he needed too. The college kid and I could have finished the warm ups our selves while the instructor, the old guy, and the kindergartener could have worked together.

Sorry More K-pop Stuff

I'm sorry to the handful of people out there who read this blog and who must think that I have gone completely crazy for K-pop. The truth is kind of. I don't like the majority of K-pop but I am culturally sensitive to it since I see the music shows pretty much every weekend. After I had a kid I have found myself pretty much confined to quarters on the weekends. It is especially bad in the winter since I don't really want to go outside anyway.

But now to get to the point. Earlier this week "Girls Generation," was on the David Letterman show:



A few comments:

9 Nine people on a tiny stage pretty funny.

I don't find Girls Generation very interesting, but hey Billy Murray was there. Bill Fucking Murray I love that guy. http://youtu.be/VxYqRKQF4H4 I linked to the Coffee and Cigarettes scene unintentionally, but I remembered that I always used to call Girls Generation the Wu Tang Clan of Kpop because there are nine of them. I love Wu Tang too. Seriously I just got on like a 20 minute Bill Murray youtube tangent. Bill Fucking Murray, and Regis. Dave Letterman, Bill Murray, and Regis, three creepy old guys and and some half dressed Korean teenagers.

I got nothing else.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Sunny Hill

Okay, I'm totally on this group Sunny Hill now. There are a few reasons why I like them. No it's not their song "Midnight Circus." That song is kind of annoying. Strangely I'm kind of attracted to this group because of the guy in it. This dude is totally pimp. He is the band's leader, but you never see him. Check out this video of their new song "The Grasshopper Song,"

>

The guy is the leader of the group, but he just pops out for like ten seconds, says a few lines and then disappears. (He also pulls off the Korean semi-traditional butt cut without looking like a tool.) Meanwhile four hot chicks dance around and sing. That's right, I'm man enough to call K-pop girls hot chicks. I'm not one of those bloggers who will bite his thumb at K-pop performers because it seems cool. Anyway that is totally pimp. I don't think that Kpop has many positive male role models for young kids. That is, I don't think that Kpop provides many male role models that act like men. Sure this guy Jang Hyun is wearing a lot of make up, but....he has some hot chicks around him.

The same thing can be said about that trouble maker kid. That trouble maker kid is singing a duet with a girl. It's pretty weak at the end of the song that they don't actually kiss, but hell it is a start. See positive male role models...not like teen top or boyfriend. The whole concept of having a boy band isn't very romantic when you think about it. If it is like five to twelve guys singing about one girl...I hope that girl has some pepper spray or numchucks or something.

No, but seriously, this Jang Hyun dude actually makes the music for the group, and I think that one of the girls...misun? writes the lyrics. That's cool when you think of Kpop. The cliched criticism that gets leveled at Kpop is that it isn't very creative and that it is mass produced. Sunny Hill was like that a few years back, but now it is like K-goth in style. In a previous post I mentioned their song pray...some nice talent there.

Also I checked out some unreleased songs from their Midnight Circus mini album. They have a song called "Puppet," or "Puppeteer," or something that is pretty cool. It reminds me of this album that was produced by Prince Paul and Dan the Automater Nakamura back in the early 2000s called "Lovage." "Lovage," was a parody album that parodied something...I'm not sure what it was a parody of, but the vocals were half provided by Mike Patton of "Faith No More." The songs were all these weird sex songs. D.j. Kid Koala also did some scratching on the album. "Lovage," is some strange shit, but the music is pretty nice.




Sunday, January 8, 2012

Googled Korean Saturday Night Live and found This:



Right, hey N.B.C. Universal, don't renew the rights to to Korean Saturday Night Live, until those morons learn that they shouldn't pull this type of shit.

Beyond the black face.

Dear Korea:

Having comedy performers dance to popular songs just isn't funny. Seriously, is this the only joke you guys know?

Last week there was some kind of end of year gagman hoopla. Gagmen and women got on stage and did a perfect dance cover of Bring the Boys Out....or something I can't remember and I don't care. Anyway the point is...WHY THE FUCK IS THAT FUNNY? Please, spend some time learning how to write jokes, and less time practicing dance routines. Accents from places other than Seoul aren't that funny either. Grow some balls and poke fun at a politician, or North Korea, or something. Come on Kim Jung Un is hilarious, just look at him. Kim Jeong Ill was hilarious too. For fucks sakes he was a merciless dictator of a country and he looked like a fucking lunch lady. Not just any lunch lady, he looked like this one lunch lady who I had when I was in 3rd grade. I can't remember her name, but this crazy bitch would yell at you if you were on the ground. I saw a kid playing football who tripped and fell and was crying on the ground, and this stupid cunt blew a whistle and yelled "get up!"

Korean Saturday Night Live

Another post about shit I watched on T.V. like two whole weeks ago.

I saw the new Korean Saturday Night Live. This week's host was Park Karin. This lady should become a national treasure. She is wonderful. I think she rose to prominence last year on the "Men's Challenge," show where she helped the guys assemble an orchestra. You could see her coaching people on how to sing well. I thought she was just some kind of voice coach, but a glance at wikkipedia showed that she is just kind of an all around performing artist.

Anyway she stole the show on Korean Saturday Night Live. Apart from her performance, I didn't think that the show was great. I can't understand Korean well, but I could tell that some jokes needed to go farther. Also I don't know if it is wise for Koreans to copy an American T.V. show that is nearly forty years past it's prime. Well, Saturday Night Live kind of goes in waves. Some casts are good, others suck. It really sucked from like 81-90. Then it was pretty good. It sucked when they fired Norm MacDonald, and then I kind of stopped watching it.

What I like about this format compared to "The Gag," concert though, is that there are no microphones taped to people's faces. If I had money, I would donate some boom mics to the gag concert. Korean Saturday Night Live was nicely subtle compared to the gag concert though. Again, to compare it to American Saturday Night Live, the Gag Concert seems to have a cast that is almost entirely made up of Cheri O'teris.

But Korean Saturday Night Live fell short in one sketch that was mostly pantomimed. Park Karin showed up at a night club with a sleeveless dress and she forgot to shave her armpits. The sketch relied on her not raising her arms to deliver a lot of physical humor. She attracted the attention of a young hot guy who she had to share the elevator with. Here is where the sketch disappointed: She had to get onto the elevator and show her armpits. When the young guy saw he reacted in horror. The original Saturday Night Live wouldn't go for the obvious joke of a guy reacting in horror. The original would probably have the guy be into it, and you might see a scene where they are back up in his room shaving and making sweaters or something. I wonder if nobody thought of that, or if something like that would get censored. At any rate, I would like to see an episode of Korean Saturday Night live with some oversight by Lorne Micheals.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Kpop Post

I'm doing a post about K-pop. I'm not a big K-pop fan, but when you are married with a baby in Korea, there isn't much to do on the weekends other than watch music bank, music core, and inga.

A few weeks ago I watched the international Kpop festival. This thing was kind of crazy. Kpop fans from all over the world were flown in to Korea to share their Kpop performance skills.

The Korean government is really pimping this hallu stuff. This festival looked like it was sponsored by the Korean tourism association. This one guy who kind of looked like a Korean Steve Martin was prominently displayed. I think he was some important guy in the ministry of tourism.

Anyway, the event was kind of bizarre, and it kind of looked like a typical Korean tourism experience. About 50 people from different countries were shipped into Korea and they were bussed around to Korea tourism sites like Gyongbuk palace and I think I saw some footage of Kyonju. They got the chance to rehearse their pieces with acts like "Sistar," and "Secret," and then they had to do a live televised performance in front of what looked like 50,000 people in Changwon.

I would say that, that was an opportunity of a life time, and much to their credit none of the performers seemed at all nervous about performing in front of what looked like the entire population of Gyeongsang province. I can imagine though, that they might have been told at the last minute. "Wow, you have been really working hard, why don't you go on stage tomorrow at our talent show?"

"Really, that sounds great."

"Oh by the way, there will be a great sea of faces there, and the mayor will also come, so don't fuck this up."

What I really liked about the show, though, was how hard core a lot of the performers were. This one girl from Argentina, who looked a hell of a lot like Chrissy Hyde, did an obscure song by Yoon Ha. Yoon Ha had one popular song called Hye sung back in 2007. (I like that song it rocks.) But this Argentinian girl did some other song that I had never heard before. The same was true about three Russian girls. They did a song by "Sunny Hill."

If you are devout follower of Music Bank, you would know that Sunny Hill had a song out last summer called "Midnight Circus." They promoted the shit out of this song. They did the song for about seven weeks, but it never really seemed to catch on. The song was actually pretty annoying, but did the Russian girls do "Midnight Circus?" No they did this song:



As it turns out, this song isn't half bad, you could totally stick this in a Terentino movie.

The Voice:
Okay I used to hate this kind of show. I never found American Idol that great, but they started showing, "The Voice," at midnight on Mnet. This show is awesome it's got Cee Lo. Cee Lo was involved in the making of this:


Fuck that guy from Maroon Five. Fuck Maroon five, but I actually think that Christina Aguilera is pretty cool after watching this show. (Also why is that country guy the judge and Reba Macintire the helper?)

Hyuna
Korea bloggers like to find a subject and then do it to death. They find shit to be outraged about then a bunch of them all get together and write about the same subject. It seems that a lot of people have opinions about Hyuna. I like her. She is a hard worker. She tries to do different stuff. She also looks like a female rockstar......and how the fuck is the kid in this video not sporting massive wood throughout the whole thing? Dude seriously when you are a teenager, your job is to sport wood. This guy is either a super professional or a eunuch.