Today my son turned 13 months old.
After an incident at Pasta Bueno I realized that my son might be the half Korean Pootie Tang.
He looks both Korean and white. There is a kind of beneficial racism that goes on for him when he encounters the college girls. They go super stupid when they see him. I will now partially fictionalize the romantic encounters of my baby, the cuteness cassanova - Korootie tang:
Around 2 months, we flew to Seoul to get him some U.S. citizenship. We were in a Mister Donut around the U.S. embassy where he got mobbed by some Korean people. A Japanese lady inside of Mister Donut lambasted him by shouting Kawaii Kawaii a bunch of times.
A few months later we were pushing him in a stroller around Jinju's freedom market. He almost got kidnapped by some Ajumas who insisted that we let them watch him while we went shopping.
Fast forward to his first birthday.
We were in VIPS and a girl about his age walked up to him and gave him hug. (True story)
There have been several occasions in Dunkin Donuts where he has charmed college girls by smiling at them.
About three weeks ago we were in some fancy looking college kid slop house called Soga and Cook. Upon seeing a group of college girls he turned and smiled at them. When he noticed that they weren't paying attention to him he chilled a bit, but when they did notice him he smiled and reached towards them.
Today we were in this place called Pasta Bueno. I took him outside while my wife had some food. The kid stood by a bus stop bench and waved at cars. Some girl with some candy materialized out of nowhere and tried to give him some. He is still a bit too young for candy so I shooed her away. Later I took him back up to the restaurant and wolfed down some cream risotto. In that time my wife walked him around the restaurant a bit. She went to get me a mountain dew. At that point the employees got to see him so they all got smiled at by him. I finished my cream risotto and took him outside so my wife could finish her spaghetti salad. I let him play around the area between the stairs and the restaurant entrance. One of the employees, a cute college girl with big glasses and pig tails, noticed him outside of the glass door. She got down on her hands and knees and played peekaboo with him from behind the cash register stand. He ran up and pounded his hands on the automatic glass door.
I feared for this girl. I didn't want her to get fired from her shitty part time job because she ignored her customers to play with a one year old. On other hand, I think that would be awesome for him, to get a girl fired from pasta bueno. He could totally be like, "Yeah when I was one, I got this chick fired from her job cuz she wanted me."
I hope he enjoys it while it lasts. I don't plan on sticking around here long enough for the beneficial racism to turn into real racism on the elementary school play ground, or the bathrooms of a middle school. In the mean time, he is still learning how to talk, so I am trying to teach him how to say this: 천화번호 조. (Give me your phone number.)