Saturday, June 25, 2011

How K-pop Boy and Girl Groups are Pushing the Genre of Boy and Girl Groups

Okay back in the day there was Menudo, then there was New Kids on the Block. That was the early era of boy bands. In the late nineties I got really pissed off the first time I saw the "Backstreet Boys." I have poor vision and and I thought that the MTV2 music video said "Beastie Boys."

I was like hell yeah Sabatoge 2 mother fuckers, but to a tenth grader the Backstreet Boys turned out to be like the corniest shit ever.

Fast forward to 2004. I lived in a dormitory with some Korean high school kids for five weeks. I had a hard time believing that they were serious when they asked me if I liked the Backstreet boys.

Fast forward again 2007. I tried to teach some middle school delinquents some English, but they would act...well like delinquents, and then when called out they would say "So sorry." This was all thanks to the Big Bang song about being so sorry about loving someone and then it was all a lie.

Well those snot nosed punks in Big Bang are now super mega famous along with Girls Generation. Girls Generation doesn't really have that much talent but if you get nine hot girls to assemble in any place, you sure can sell the shit out of anything from cell phones, gasoline, nasty chicken, and even dominoes pizza.

Then you have the Wonder Girls who really suck. Park Jin Young tried to pimp the shit out of these girls in America just for the sake of having a Korean band make it big in a big market like America, only to make it to a 70s position on the billboard charts and then get forgotten about in Korea.

Where did the Wonder Girls go? Who the fuck cares? They suck? If a girl band is going to make it big in the states it would probably be 2 ne 1. I'm not a big fan of Korean rapping since, Korean rappers rarely rhyme, and when they do it is usually with a word that they already said. Korean rappers are usually about as talented as the black guy in Rebecca Black's, "Friday." However, C.L. from 2 ne 1 has some talent. She also has tude. You need some swag to be taken seriously as a rapper in America, you can't always be like an emo Eminem.

In the English version of the song "Can't Nobody," C.L. says something about being Asian and taking over. I don't think that would hold true for many Asians, but I think that 2 ne 1 could at least have a hit song in the states, or at least be a one hit wonder. The wonder not.

In the domestic market though, the progression of boy and girl bands is kind of interesting.

These days there are girl bands out there who are doing some weird shit. Take Sunny Hill for example. They released a "goth" girl band song. Check out this video, it is pretty fucking weird.

It's like leather marionettes meet twin peaks. The song is pretty annoying but it is pushing the art in a different direction.

Another example of this is the creepy eyes wide shut stuff going on with Raina's Masquerade. Someone give these girls a cold shower please.

But, don't really find that much wrong with this. They can sing okay. What does offend me is the direction that "Secret," has taken. Secret came out last year with "Magic," and "Modonna." Both of those song were pretty high energy and they showcased some real talent for singing and dancing.

But now the Secret girls are back. They decided to become a 1950's doo wop band with, "Shy Boy," and then they decided to make them selves look like total retards with "Starlight, and Moonlight."

Starlight moonlight doesn't seem like a cutesy dootsey love song, it seems like a bunch of pretty girls pretending to be nice and then trying to do everything they can to keep people out of their country club. Kind of like the plot to High School Musical 2.

I've spent too much time on Girl Bands. I should mention some boy bands. I would love to be the lead singer of F.T. Island. That guy probably has a bunch of kids that he doesn't know about. F.T. Island is also a band that has consistently been a kind of dark horse. Also they seem to actually play their instruments.

Also Shinee is pretty good. Compare Kpop boy bands to like the backstreet boys. Just look youtube some bsb videos and compare the dancing. They backstreet boys look like they would hurt themselves if they tried some of the dance moves that shinee does.

Back the girl artists.

Jang Jae In. She was on "Korea Idol," or whatever the hell that show was called. She was kind of billed as an indy singer, because she wore petuli and sat on the ground while playing the guitar. What evs. Her toy soldiers song is annoying. Dear Fiona Apple, Cat Power, and Tori Amos, your shit is safe your jobs won't be outsourced to Korea.

Dear people who try to sell stuff by saying that it is "indie." Sometimes there are reasons why record labels don't go ape shit over hippies with guitars.

There are many good Korean indie artists though. Check out Gukasten, their shit is tight. So is Moomba trap. Also go back in time. Kim Choo Ja is pretty sweet.

I'm out.

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