Thursday, July 15, 2010

Tips for Surviving the Rainy Season

The Korean media and expat blogosphere have been abuzz with many ways of beating the heat in the summer. I would like to remind my readers though that Korean summers aren't just massive heatwaves, there is also the monsoon part of the Korean summer that is happening just about now. So as a service to many newbies to Korea who have probably never experienced rain before, I would like to provide some pointers on how to stay dry.

1. Don't go outside.
2. If you are inside and you are nearby an open window and it is raining, close it.
3. If you do go outside take an umbrella.
4. They have these things called rain coats that help keep you dry as well.
5. If you want to go somewhere, don't walk, take a car.
6. If you don't have a raincoat or umbrella, just go naked. One of the worst parts of being in the rain is getting your clothes wet.
7. If you do happen to get wet, change your clothes and use towel when you get home.
8. Eat Samgyupsal.
9. Drink Maggeoli and eat Pajun.
10. If you don't have any Samgyupsal, Maggeoli, or pajun, just eat something greasy like pizza, fried chicken, or Chinese food. You can have either of those things delivered making the poor bastard who has to deliver those things get wet. (Poor bastard also has to refuse tips.)
11. If you are in love with some woman who doesn't care about you, or who has chosen to be with someone else, get dressed up in a suit and stand in the rain while crying. Your eyes cannot produce enough tears to fully display your misery so sometimes you need mother nature's help.
12. If you are in love with some woman who thinks that you are a humorless uptight prat, show her that you are nothing of the sort by going out into the rain without an umbrella to show her your "down to earth side."
13. If you are an environmentalist who wants to show the dangers of acid rain; wear a paper outfit and allow the rain to dissolve it away.
14. If you are outside, go inside.
15. Get under something.


Flint said...

Holy Shit the news article was almost as stupid as Clissy Snowfrake's post!

On another note, thanks for the great tips. Why didn't I think of staying inside and shutting the window that fateful day in July. Why?!?!?!!??

3gyupsal said...

I was disappointed that the Korean article didn't mention dog soup for beating the heat. Everyone knows that Samgyeatang isn't the true energy soup.

(The article also didn't mention anything about going to see a horror movie so as to get goose bumps....and sit in a large air-conditioned room for two hours.)

As a side note, I respect what Chris in South Korea does. I don't read his blog but I can tell the dude is trying hard so I respect that. But your post just made me creative all of a sudden. I'll try not to post lists of things that people can do about stuff in Korea.