Finally, I'll write something about Gangnam Style. A lot of white people who live in Korea tend to hate K-pop. In the venn diagram of things, the usual male English teacher in Korea hails from musical interests that tends to scorn anything top ten. The constant bitch from people like us it that K-pop is just mass produced fake bullshit. To some extent that argument is sound, but it is also a cliche and predictable refrain. You can pre-empt any conversation about K-pop with a straight white guy in Korea by saying key words like: plastic, fake, crap, mass produced, corporate, and you can even test your opponent's sanity by dropping the i-bomb as in Illuminati. (Shit, I bet I'm going to get people who googled "Illuminati," dropping by now.)
Many people have already noted that Psy's success must be the utmost shit sandwich for anybody from the big Korean record companies who thought that one of their mini-skirt squads would make it big in the states. Delusional thinking by S.M. entertainment prompted them to send over nine girls to get leered at by Dave Letterman, Regis Philban, and Bill Murray.
My personal favorite case of schadenfreude is the one that Park Jin Young must be feeling. He sent The Wondergirls over to America to become the next big thing, without understanding that girl groups are about fifteen years late in places that aren't Asia. Besides that, there have never really been too many successful girl groups in America. Sure there was Ace of Base and the Spice Girls. En Vogue was pretty awesome but they only had three big songs. (They also showed more skin in 1996 than the Wonder Girls will ever be willing to do.)
Also what must be extraordinarily bitter for everyone on the the Wonder Girls and Girls Generation band wagons is the crazy positioning of Hyun-ah. Hyun-ah, the former Wonder Girl. Hyuna-ah, the girl who at 17 years old made the song "Change," the song that made the puritanical "Brian In Jeollanamdo," loose his shit and empty his lube tube. Hyun-ah, who lit up the blogosophere again earlier this year with people calling her a stripper, for her role in the song "Trouble Maker." (I have to admit to being a fan of "Trouble Maker," that whistle beat is pretty cool.) I called it too. Sure she has that whole sexy thing working for her, but the girl can spot an opportunity and follow through, and there she was in the "Gangnam Style," video, in the subway looking all hot and doing the horse dance next to Psy. Where were the other Wonder Girls? Where was Jessica and Taeyeon? They weren't anywhere. And now Hyuna, is the it girl in the number #2 billboard song. Let me rephrase that - the Kpop song that isn't translated into English - that is also the number #2 billboard song. Take that S.M. and J.Y.P. entertainment.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Coffee
Six or seven years ago, I used to complain about the situation of coffee shops in Korea. Jinju didn't have too many proper coffee shops. There were a few espresso bars that served the usual espresso drink without much love. Americanos came with sugar syrup in them. Brewed coffee couldn't be found anywhere except for McDonalds and Dunkin Donuts. I always had to fight with the workers at Dunkin donuts, they had to be told not to add sugar to the coffee. They also had to be told not to water it down. There was also a period when McDonalds had some really great coffee for 1000 won. It was a nice brewed coffee that had a balance of acid and bitterness. That coffee lasted for only a few months. Sometime in 2006 they changed to the Lavazza pod coffee that wasn't good at all.
I used to complain all of the time about the substandard coffee. I compared it to the places back home where they roasted their own beans. I compared it to my favorite college hangout the rocketstar cafe, a place that brewed great coffee, had a pool table, a pacman machine, a stained glass window that some local dude made, live bands, and to top it all off, local artist would hang their work on the walls for a few weeks. That place was awesome. It was owned by this one dude who was really into mopeds and coffee. He used to work at another place that was run cooperative style called "The Space." The Space got shut down because it had live music that pissed off a local urology clinic. And of course you can't forget Kalamazoo's "Water Street Coffee Joint." This was Kalamazoo's original hoity toity coffee place. Located across the street from "Bells Brewery," "Waterstreet," eventually started roasting their own coffee and selling their brand in grocery stores. Water street has been very successful in keeping Starbucks at bay.
Oh how I would bitch and moan about how terrible the coffee was.
But these days coffee in Jinju has swung the opposite direction. Around 2008 people really started to give a shit about coffee. A place called the coffee flower opened. Coffee Flower is a place where they roast their own beans. My wife was interested in the place because they had a panini press. We went there and ordered some coffee and paninis on time. The coffee was okay, but we got a ham, cheese, strawberry, and kiwi panini. Another place called August square opened. They roast their own coffee too. They had a prime spot in front of Gyeongsang University, but they moved over by MBCine.
These days in Jinju, coffee shops can be seen everywhere. There are at least 4 barista training academies. There is even a place that councils people on how to open a coffee shop. I really don't think that the market can bear much more coffee. I've been to a few places that somewhat angered me by how pretentious the lead barista has been. Last Thursday I visited a coffee shop that had gotten some pretty high praise on the local facebook group.
This place, the "Lee Dong Woo," coffee shop is for people who are absolutely serious about wanting to be seen as a coffee intellectual. This is something that I have been absolutely guilty of in the past. I wrote an 18 page research paper in college about the history of globalization and coffee. I used to drink coffee from each country and continent and remark on the strengths and weaknesses of the brews. Lee Dong Woo took it a step farther.
I took a special trip to visit this place. I took a 20 minute bus ride. I walked for about ten minutes from the bus stop, and when I ordered a drip coffee to go I was told that I can't have one because the paper cup hurt the flavor or the coffee. Eventually I convinced them that I was in a hurry, and had no time to sit thoughtfully and contemplate the unique flavor profile of my Guatemala Antigua. I cared little that hints of apricot and black pepper could be detected in the aroma. I took an hour out of my day to come and give them some money, the least they could do was pour some goddam hot water over some coffee grounds into a cup.
At the end of that experience I found that the coffee was pretty good. I don't know if I would go out of my way for it again, but the caffeine buzz I got off of it was pretty unique.
I've had similar experiences other places as well. Near by my house in Hadaedong, there is a place called the Advertist. The head barista here has some certificates on the wall about him winning barista awards up in Seoul. The interior of the place is nice. There is a mural painting of some wings on the wall that you can get your picture taken in front of so that you can look like an angel. But some aspects of the interior look a little cluttered. A samurai action figure sits on top of a piano holds empty wine bottles. The espresso coffees are pretty good, while the prices are a little high.
I went there one time last March to have some hand drip coffee. The guy brought out some whole beans and a hand grinder. I had to grind the beans myself. When it came time to make the coffee, I was forbidden to simply pour the water over the grounds...I had to do the little hand drip dance where you have to pour the water in a circle and lightly moisten the coffee. Again, I don't like having to follow nit picky rules just to get a cup of coffee.
I also don't like all of the pretentiousness that goes into everything. I know that coffee is great, and I know that it tastes different from different places, I just don't like it when people have to get all weird about things. Jinju had some similar creepiness when it came to wine. Back when I first got here, wine was hard to find. Now it is quite easy and cheap to get. Back in the day, I would get my wine fix from a local bar that served Franzia. You know, box wine. One day this Canadian dude walked in and ordered a glass of the stuff. He saw the bartender walk over to the box and pour it into his glass, he new that that he wasn't getting any kind of high end stuff, but the dude still insisted on sticking his nose down the glass and then doing the whole wine guy slurp to find out how many "tannins," were in it. This was completely unnecessary. I really hoped for his sake that he got some kind of satisfaction out of being such a jackass. My feeling towards wine people is that they are just alcoholics who like to say that everything tastes like black currents and chocolate. But the same is true for pretentious coffee people as well. You just have to say that something tastes like a fruit that nobody has ever tried, and people will think you know what you are talking about.
A: What do you think of this Ethiopian Sidamo?
B: Well it is obvious that the roaster was able to essentialize the choke cherry blossom arroma and marry it to the tart creamyness of ... of .. I want say paw paw, but then there is also that sweet service berry texture.
A: That is exactly what I was thinking.
B: I'm glad I found someone like you that I can share my coffee with. I was just thinking about doing a piece for "Coffee and Edible Midwest Monthly."
A: Really that's amazing. I loved their dandelion leaf salad and organic Timor pea berry vinaigrette.
B: Don't make me salivate!!!
I used to complain all of the time about the substandard coffee. I compared it to the places back home where they roasted their own beans. I compared it to my favorite college hangout the rocketstar cafe, a place that brewed great coffee, had a pool table, a pacman machine, a stained glass window that some local dude made, live bands, and to top it all off, local artist would hang their work on the walls for a few weeks. That place was awesome. It was owned by this one dude who was really into mopeds and coffee. He used to work at another place that was run cooperative style called "The Space." The Space got shut down because it had live music that pissed off a local urology clinic. And of course you can't forget Kalamazoo's "Water Street Coffee Joint." This was Kalamazoo's original hoity toity coffee place. Located across the street from "Bells Brewery," "Waterstreet," eventually started roasting their own coffee and selling their brand in grocery stores. Water street has been very successful in keeping Starbucks at bay.
Oh how I would bitch and moan about how terrible the coffee was.
But these days coffee in Jinju has swung the opposite direction. Around 2008 people really started to give a shit about coffee. A place called the coffee flower opened. Coffee Flower is a place where they roast their own beans. My wife was interested in the place because they had a panini press. We went there and ordered some coffee and paninis on time. The coffee was okay, but we got a ham, cheese, strawberry, and kiwi panini. Another place called August square opened. They roast their own coffee too. They had a prime spot in front of Gyeongsang University, but they moved over by MBCine.
These days in Jinju, coffee shops can be seen everywhere. There are at least 4 barista training academies. There is even a place that councils people on how to open a coffee shop. I really don't think that the market can bear much more coffee. I've been to a few places that somewhat angered me by how pretentious the lead barista has been. Last Thursday I visited a coffee shop that had gotten some pretty high praise on the local facebook group.
This place, the "Lee Dong Woo," coffee shop is for people who are absolutely serious about wanting to be seen as a coffee intellectual. This is something that I have been absolutely guilty of in the past. I wrote an 18 page research paper in college about the history of globalization and coffee. I used to drink coffee from each country and continent and remark on the strengths and weaknesses of the brews. Lee Dong Woo took it a step farther.
I took a special trip to visit this place. I took a 20 minute bus ride. I walked for about ten minutes from the bus stop, and when I ordered a drip coffee to go I was told that I can't have one because the paper cup hurt the flavor or the coffee. Eventually I convinced them that I was in a hurry, and had no time to sit thoughtfully and contemplate the unique flavor profile of my Guatemala Antigua. I cared little that hints of apricot and black pepper could be detected in the aroma. I took an hour out of my day to come and give them some money, the least they could do was pour some goddam hot water over some coffee grounds into a cup.
At the end of that experience I found that the coffee was pretty good. I don't know if I would go out of my way for it again, but the caffeine buzz I got off of it was pretty unique.
I've had similar experiences other places as well. Near by my house in Hadaedong, there is a place called the Advertist. The head barista here has some certificates on the wall about him winning barista awards up in Seoul. The interior of the place is nice. There is a mural painting of some wings on the wall that you can get your picture taken in front of so that you can look like an angel. But some aspects of the interior look a little cluttered. A samurai action figure sits on top of a piano holds empty wine bottles. The espresso coffees are pretty good, while the prices are a little high.
I went there one time last March to have some hand drip coffee. The guy brought out some whole beans and a hand grinder. I had to grind the beans myself. When it came time to make the coffee, I was forbidden to simply pour the water over the grounds...I had to do the little hand drip dance where you have to pour the water in a circle and lightly moisten the coffee. Again, I don't like having to follow nit picky rules just to get a cup of coffee.
I also don't like all of the pretentiousness that goes into everything. I know that coffee is great, and I know that it tastes different from different places, I just don't like it when people have to get all weird about things. Jinju had some similar creepiness when it came to wine. Back when I first got here, wine was hard to find. Now it is quite easy and cheap to get. Back in the day, I would get my wine fix from a local bar that served Franzia. You know, box wine. One day this Canadian dude walked in and ordered a glass of the stuff. He saw the bartender walk over to the box and pour it into his glass, he new that that he wasn't getting any kind of high end stuff, but the dude still insisted on sticking his nose down the glass and then doing the whole wine guy slurp to find out how many "tannins," were in it. This was completely unnecessary. I really hoped for his sake that he got some kind of satisfaction out of being such a jackass. My feeling towards wine people is that they are just alcoholics who like to say that everything tastes like black currents and chocolate. But the same is true for pretentious coffee people as well. You just have to say that something tastes like a fruit that nobody has ever tried, and people will think you know what you are talking about.
A: What do you think of this Ethiopian Sidamo?
B: Well it is obvious that the roaster was able to essentialize the choke cherry blossom arroma and marry it to the tart creamyness of ... of .. I want say paw paw, but then there is also that sweet service berry texture.
A: That is exactly what I was thinking.
B: I'm glad I found someone like you that I can share my coffee with. I was just thinking about doing a piece for "Coffee and Edible Midwest Monthly."
A: Really that's amazing. I loved their dandelion leaf salad and organic Timor pea berry vinaigrette.
B: Don't make me salivate!!!
Monday, October 22, 2012
My Aztec Blog
I haven't written on this thing in a long time. I'm in a slump of not really being interested in anything. Wait, the whole Detroit Tigers in the World Series is pretty awesome. To bad for Kalamazoo native Derek Jeter though. That guy is true class. He's a bright spot on the Yankees, I sold his dad newspapers a few times when I was working at the Michigan News.
Really, I spend my time thinking about this one mountain in Jinju that I want to climb to the top of. I tried climbing it one time but I lost the trail when I found this creepy looking cave. That was back in June, and I got a big rash from caterpillar fur. I want to go back into the cave and see if there is any gold, Buddha statues, or bodies.
As far as blogging is concerned, it seems to be a dead art. A lot of the big blogs aren't really publishing anything anymore.
I was reading one of my other blogs: Three Stripes of Meat in Teotiuacan. I should focus on that one. It is much better than this one. Here is the link:
http://koreaaztecesl.blogspot.kr/
Really, I spend my time thinking about this one mountain in Jinju that I want to climb to the top of. I tried climbing it one time but I lost the trail when I found this creepy looking cave. That was back in June, and I got a big rash from caterpillar fur. I want to go back into the cave and see if there is any gold, Buddha statues, or bodies.
As far as blogging is concerned, it seems to be a dead art. A lot of the big blogs aren't really publishing anything anymore.
I was reading one of my other blogs: Three Stripes of Meat in Teotiuacan. I should focus on that one. It is much better than this one. Here is the link:
http://koreaaztecesl.blogspot.kr/
Thursday, July 19, 2012
The Other Jinju Bloggers Need to Step it up a Bit
Fun Times in South East Korea is the largest and least important blog about Jinju. That is why it is so important for the other Jinju bloggers to step it up. I have found two other blogs about Jinju. One is by my friend, called Indie Jinju. He hasn't posted anything in about a month. The other is a new one called Yo Jinju. Yo Jinju looks like it aspires to have important information on it. Meanwhile, if you read five posts on this blog your I.Q. will drop five points. If you fix yourself a nice drink, and read the whole damn thing, you will need to be committed. The alternative would be to get your Jinju information from a foreigner church website. I've been in many conversations with Korean Christians who try to get me to go to their church. They mentinon that there are other foreigners there. Saying that there are other foreigners in a church means that I actually have to understand what all of the god stuff. That is why I still have a small affinity for the Catholic church. Sure the leaders might be rape apologists, but Catholics never bother you to join up. In fact I briefly wanted to go to a Catholic church in Korea when one of my students, an elegant elderly woman, mentioned that the church bazaars at her church frequently sell wine. I suppose I could transform this piece of garbage into something useful, but that would take some commitment that I don't have.
New Rules
New Rule: If you have the courage to leave your house in a pink dress shirt and lime green pants, don't get all shy in English class.
New Rule: Let's have some more appropriate amounts of French fries. Fries and beer are great. I just want to stop hating myself. New Rule: Korea bloggers need to find something new to write about. Here is a basic summary of what the past few years have been like. Contracts don't mean anything. I'm lonely. Here are some pictures of a temple. Racism. I ate some weird food. I saw something about foreigners on T.V. that I didn't like. My Korean boyfriend. My Korean girlfriend. My students are so........ I don't like this blogger. I'm the most serious Korea blogger, others are losers. Human rights.
New Rule: Let's have some more appropriate amounts of French fries. Fries and beer are great. I just want to stop hating myself. New Rule: Korea bloggers need to find something new to write about. Here is a basic summary of what the past few years have been like. Contracts don't mean anything. I'm lonely. Here are some pictures of a temple. Racism. I ate some weird food. I saw something about foreigners on T.V. that I didn't like. My Korean boyfriend. My Korean girlfriend. My students are so........ I don't like this blogger. I'm the most serious Korea blogger, others are losers. Human rights.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
New Rules!
New rule: If you are going to walk on an escalator, walk the right direction. I'm not necessarily angry at Koreans for breaking this rule, just the two geniuses who did so today. This morning I was at Homeplus pushing my son around. I was Half way up the escalator when this idiot woman decided she needed something else, so she started running down the escalator. This prompted me to issue an audible "Aw for fuck's sake." this story wouldn't have been remarkable had it not been for the fact that the very same thing happened about five hours later in a department store. This time my wife was with me and I was holding my son when this strapping young idiot twenty something decided to start running up this crowed escalator. Again I issued a very audible "aw for fucks sakes" but this time the guy tripped and fell on his face. He writhed around on the floor for a minute then found his balance and apologized as he exited. Later I realized that this created a problem for me since my son is trying to learn how to talk. I need to learn more patience in public. I tend to swear at people here more than I would back home. I know that a lot of Koreans know English swear words, but people aren't accustomed to getting sworn at for minor infractions of impoliteness or obliviousness, so they usually just pretend not to notice. But anyway I need to stop when I'm with my son.
New rule: Watch where you are going. I hate smartphones. People should get tickets for walking and texting. I think I may accidentally kill a Korean person sometime. I'm a J walker. Many times J walking is safer than waiting for the signal since occasionally people people don't stop at red lights. I'm also suspicious of the occasional flash of psychopathic racism that might send me to the hospital sometime while crossing in front of a car. Anyway when I J walk, I'm usually pretty good at watching the traffic. Meanwhile someone who is smart phoning away might end up getting hit by a car when their peripheral vision catches my movement and they assume that the signal has changed.
New rule: I've got headphones on I don't want to talk to you.
New rule: I appreciate your adulation of my son, but when you follow me and say that he is pretty in Korean, and cute in English, I'm going to run away from you.
New rule: Pay me when you say you will, I'm talking to you dong joong. Did an after school class for my old middle school. The class started in March and I didn't see any money until July. Even then it was after I faxed them a bill. 청구서, very nice word to know.
New rule: Stop saying bye bye. When people see my son with me they blurt out their best English at him. The kid's mom is Korean, and he was born here. One time in Dunkin donuts I ran into a friend from work. He was playing with my son when a gang of what looked like college Christians stormed the place. (There's a look to them, believe me, and they can usually speak English pretty well.) Anyway this one turd muffin who looked a bit like Sasquatch really thought it was important for a one year old baby to know that his name (Sasquatch) was handsome man. Wtf? Bye bye.
New rule: Watch where you are going. I hate smartphones. People should get tickets for walking and texting. I think I may accidentally kill a Korean person sometime. I'm a J walker. Many times J walking is safer than waiting for the signal since occasionally people people don't stop at red lights. I'm also suspicious of the occasional flash of psychopathic racism that might send me to the hospital sometime while crossing in front of a car. Anyway when I J walk, I'm usually pretty good at watching the traffic. Meanwhile someone who is smart phoning away might end up getting hit by a car when their peripheral vision catches my movement and they assume that the signal has changed.
New rule: I've got headphones on I don't want to talk to you.
New rule: I appreciate your adulation of my son, but when you follow me and say that he is pretty in Korean, and cute in English, I'm going to run away from you.
New rule: Pay me when you say you will, I'm talking to you dong joong. Did an after school class for my old middle school. The class started in March and I didn't see any money until July. Even then it was after I faxed them a bill. 청구서, very nice word to know.
New rule: Stop saying bye bye. When people see my son with me they blurt out their best English at him. The kid's mom is Korean, and he was born here. One time in Dunkin donuts I ran into a friend from work. He was playing with my son when a gang of what looked like college Christians stormed the place. (There's a look to them, believe me, and they can usually speak English pretty well.) Anyway this one turd muffin who looked a bit like Sasquatch really thought it was important for a one year old baby to know that his name (Sasquatch) was handsome man. Wtf? Bye bye.
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